When you can't find words to express your deepest feelings.
When you no longer feel the need to remind him of the good moments, hoping he'll come back home.
When you've stopped thinking about him.
When you stop reading your MSN message history with him, over and over again.
When you stop hating him and loving him in the same time.
When you stop wishing he'd call.
When you no longer care if he needs you or thinks of you.
Then.. that is called forgiveness. And that's when you have truly moved on.
Goodbye... ( whoever you were)
and Hello my future ex-Husband.
sâmbătă, 27 decembrie 2008
sâmbătă, 29 noiembrie 2008
all the suffering.. all the pain.. all the guilt.. the shaking in my muscles.. the tears.. all of this... WHAT FOR???
what for my love? nothing will ever bring that back. so what the fuck is this worth for??
yet...
Eternamente tua .... [but what for?]
what for my love? nothing will ever bring that back. so what the fuck is this worth for??
yet...
Ninguém neste mundo vai fazer-te se sentir a maneira que eu fiz, e você sabe isso...
Eternamente tua .... [but what for?]
sâmbătă, 25 octombrie 2008
IN MEMORIUM
" I'll never forget those moments... she was that woman that could silently kill you with a smile on her face.
I'd love it when she'd get out of the shower... that smell I'll never forget... milk and honey.. so pure and innocent, it'd drive me nuts. She'd never wipe herself, she'd just lay in my bed, still wet, wrapped in a soft towel, with her head on my pillow, holding it tight, as if she'd try to find me through the sheets.. and I'd kiss her back and neck and she'd play with my hair, laughing in such a cheeky way it'd turn me on so badly.
She had the softest skin I've ever touched... the softest... i loved holding her, right before she'd put her lotion on, it always felt better touching her skin, but that lotion used to be such a huge aphrodisiac..you just could not resist that girl.. no matter how hard you'd try...
She had the most beautiful eyes ... the biggest, greenest eyes... you'd completely lose yourself in them.. they'd have this special type of attractiveness, so much that I'd spend hours and hours just looking at her, just looking, without saying a single word... and she always understood me, she'd just smile back at me...
Oh, how i loved her touch... how i loved those nights when she'd fall asleep on my chest, holding me so tight as if it'd be our last night together.. but what i most loved about her was how she'd always kiss my body...at night, even though sleepy, whenever her lips would meet my skin, she'd kiss me... she'd kiss my nose, my chest, my arms, my fingers... anything.. anything she felt belonged to me, she kissed... she was the most pure girl I've ever known... we've spent so many nights together, and never had sex... she just knew how to please me in the most amazing ways that I've never really felt the need for more... she'd given me so much of her, so much of everything she represents that never did I need more...
How I'll miss you, my sweetest fantasy... you'll forever be the most amazing girl I've ever had... "
I'd love it when she'd get out of the shower... that smell I'll never forget... milk and honey.. so pure and innocent, it'd drive me nuts. She'd never wipe herself, she'd just lay in my bed, still wet, wrapped in a soft towel, with her head on my pillow, holding it tight, as if she'd try to find me through the sheets.. and I'd kiss her back and neck and she'd play with my hair, laughing in such a cheeky way it'd turn me on so badly.
She had the softest skin I've ever touched... the softest... i loved holding her, right before she'd put her lotion on, it always felt better touching her skin, but that lotion used to be such a huge aphrodisiac..you just could not resist that girl.. no matter how hard you'd try...
She had the most beautiful eyes ... the biggest, greenest eyes... you'd completely lose yourself in them.. they'd have this special type of attractiveness, so much that I'd spend hours and hours just looking at her, just looking, without saying a single word... and she always understood me, she'd just smile back at me...
Oh, how i loved her touch... how i loved those nights when she'd fall asleep on my chest, holding me so tight as if it'd be our last night together.. but what i most loved about her was how she'd always kiss my body...at night, even though sleepy, whenever her lips would meet my skin, she'd kiss me... she'd kiss my nose, my chest, my arms, my fingers... anything.. anything she felt belonged to me, she kissed... she was the most pure girl I've ever known... we've spent so many nights together, and never had sex... she just knew how to please me in the most amazing ways that I've never really felt the need for more... she'd given me so much of her, so much of everything she represents that never did I need more...
How I'll miss you, my sweetest fantasy... you'll forever be the most amazing girl I've ever had... "
joi, 9 octombrie 2008
...
" me dueles.
Estamos llorando porque ninguno de los dos puede creer que nos quisimos tanto.
Yo te amo, siempre lo hare.
Porfavor, no reniegues porque me inspiras.
Si lees bien, en mi blog, siempre concluyo diciendo que te amo. Y lo hago, te amo.
No es que quiera sentirme poderoso, queria que lo repitieras para que de una vez por todas te des cuenta de que me quieres y yo necesitaba saber que me querias. Sabes lo que significa dedicar todo tu arte a una sola persona y no saber si esta siente lo mismo por ti?
Te he dedicado tanto Lavinia. Me he dedicado.
Te confese que nadie puede matarme y entre lagrimas te digo "you kill me".
Ni ella, y la quiero, ni nadie puede afectarme de la forma como un insulto tuyo lo hace.
Si quieres irte de mi vida, hazlo pero no te burles como lo estas haciendo.
Deja de burlarte de mi porque te necesite. Deja de burlarte de mi por lo debil que soy al no poder eliminarte. Deja de reirte de mis lagrimas. Deja de imaginarme como un ogro cuando sabes que muero por un beso tuyo. Y a la mierda si no me crees. Al carajo con todo esta tormenta innecesaria. En vano dejas que mis manos tiemblen y que el sol permanezca oculto todo el tiempo que no estas. En vano, sin razones. Y te amo.
Yo nunca fui un monstruo, no lo soy.
Por favor, no es broma, esto no es un juego.
Ya no quiero que sufras ni yo sufrir.
Solo quiero que seas feliz y que entiendas que estaba dispuesto a gastar lo necesario para llegar a ti porque eres muy diferente a todo lo que conosco. Y esto no es casualidad.
Si llega la oportunidad, bienvenida.
Sino, que nos quede el recuerdo y las emociones vertidas. El recuerdo de saber que el amor existe. Y el amor verdadero no sabe de distancias.
True love waits, see you soon."
Estamos llorando porque ninguno de los dos puede creer que nos quisimos tanto.
Yo te amo, siempre lo hare.
Porfavor, no reniegues porque me inspiras.
Si lees bien, en mi blog, siempre concluyo diciendo que te amo. Y lo hago, te amo.
No es que quiera sentirme poderoso, queria que lo repitieras para que de una vez por todas te des cuenta de que me quieres y yo necesitaba saber que me querias. Sabes lo que significa dedicar todo tu arte a una sola persona y no saber si esta siente lo mismo por ti?
Te he dedicado tanto Lavinia. Me he dedicado.
Te confese que nadie puede matarme y entre lagrimas te digo "you kill me".
Ni ella, y la quiero, ni nadie puede afectarme de la forma como un insulto tuyo lo hace.
Si quieres irte de mi vida, hazlo pero no te burles como lo estas haciendo.
Deja de burlarte de mi porque te necesite. Deja de burlarte de mi por lo debil que soy al no poder eliminarte. Deja de reirte de mis lagrimas. Deja de imaginarme como un ogro cuando sabes que muero por un beso tuyo. Y a la mierda si no me crees. Al carajo con todo esta tormenta innecesaria. En vano dejas que mis manos tiemblen y que el sol permanezca oculto todo el tiempo que no estas. En vano, sin razones. Y te amo.
Yo nunca fui un monstruo, no lo soy.
Por favor, no es broma, esto no es un juego.
Ya no quiero que sufras ni yo sufrir.
Solo quiero que seas feliz y que entiendas que estaba dispuesto a gastar lo necesario para llegar a ti porque eres muy diferente a todo lo que conosco. Y esto no es casualidad.
Si llega la oportunidad, bienvenida.
Sino, que nos quede el recuerdo y las emociones vertidas. El recuerdo de saber que el amor existe. Y el amor verdadero no sabe de distancias.
True love waits, see you soon."
marți, 16 septembrie 2008
So much for my happy ending
“The hate inside an empty heart. How can u explain something you have never felt?.. in the words of a broken heart, its just emotion, taking you over. You’re caught up in sorrow, lost in that love song… Come home. don't you know there's nobody left in this world to hold me tight? nobody left in this world to kiss goodnight…”
Haha. How could have I? how could have I written such things at 16? Haha.. that poor little heart… if it only knew what was to come..
When you all of a sudden realize you can be everything you wanted to be without actually having to sacrifice yourself … or live without those things you once thought you’re addicted to… or when you have to say goodbye to an old love and you find no room for regret.. THAT’S when you feel lost and empty. Those tears that once flooded your entire being are now just memories that make you laugh of how naive you were.. at 16.
I feel tired, as if the time has gone passed me, leaving behind wounds impossible to heal. Yet, I feel free… free to be mean, selfish, ignorant, careless and cold. I feel worn out of any beautiful feeling.
Im writing you pieces of my soul for the last time. You are incapable of understanding the depth of my sorrow. As far as I see, you are incapable of re-memorizing anything that once united us… that once made you the happiest man on Earth.
It’s raining. It’s raining so heavily right now… paradoxically, this rain carries with itself wonderful memories. Two fragile bodies curled around each other in that huge white bed.. the silent dark… the sweet sound of the purling of water.. bliss. Pure bliss. [You remember, don’t you? ]
How bitter-sweet life can be…
You were everything, everything that I wanted,
We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it...
Haha. How could have I? how could have I written such things at 16? Haha.. that poor little heart… if it only knew what was to come..
When you all of a sudden realize you can be everything you wanted to be without actually having to sacrifice yourself … or live without those things you once thought you’re addicted to… or when you have to say goodbye to an old love and you find no room for regret.. THAT’S when you feel lost and empty. Those tears that once flooded your entire being are now just memories that make you laugh of how naive you were.. at 16.
I feel tired, as if the time has gone passed me, leaving behind wounds impossible to heal. Yet, I feel free… free to be mean, selfish, ignorant, careless and cold. I feel worn out of any beautiful feeling.
Im writing you pieces of my soul for the last time. You are incapable of understanding the depth of my sorrow. As far as I see, you are incapable of re-memorizing anything that once united us… that once made you the happiest man on Earth.
It’s raining. It’s raining so heavily right now… paradoxically, this rain carries with itself wonderful memories. Two fragile bodies curled around each other in that huge white bed.. the silent dark… the sweet sound of the purling of water.. bliss. Pure bliss. [You remember, don’t you? ]
How bitter-sweet life can be…
You were everything, everything that I wanted,
We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it...
sâmbătă, 13 septembrie 2008
SKETCH
How many times do I have to keep falling because of you? [Feelings of everlasting...] I keep drawing sketches of my life in black and green... remember? I see you in visions of green. I see pictures that conceal a past which never happened; visions of heaven and hell conjoined in a masterpiece created out of illusions and human sacrifice.
A sketch that I create blindfolded. Do you remember? My god, do you even remember? "If given the chance, id walk all the way to Romania just to be with you". How many years have pasted since then? How many promises have been broken? It doesn't matter, you're here now, finally.
Then again, I see children crying. I see us... the love of a perfect lie, the fakest of my dreams, the greatest of my nightmares.
And yet, I don't feel a thing. Precious love and perfect man, you make me see my life in sketches. May I remind you, I love you ? How long its been since I last told you that? Ah yes, last night.. before you finished. And you? Ah, yes, last night.. after you finished.
And as I look at you sleeping, I cant help wondering.. what the fuck are you doing in my bed in middle-night ? [Ah, this wicked love game. ]
Im drawing a sketch of you and me.. when we were kids
We used to hide and kiss and pretend that it all fits
You used to tell me you loved me and then blush
But then pretend its just a crush.
It made me mad.. do you remember?
But it would go away, cause your kisses were so sweet and tender.
You bitter-sweet joy.. meu dios, estou apaixonada por um pecador.. How can I ever let you leave my bed when you've always been here? You perfect sin, this wicked game.. you make me see my life in sketches. Keep the fantasy within you and relive our madness. Our love can never be this sweet, and we can never be so real.
A sketch that I create blindfolded. Do you remember? My god, do you even remember? "If given the chance, id walk all the way to Romania just to be with you". How many years have pasted since then? How many promises have been broken? It doesn't matter, you're here now, finally.
Then again, I see children crying. I see us... the love of a perfect lie, the fakest of my dreams, the greatest of my nightmares.
And yet, I don't feel a thing. Precious love and perfect man, you make me see my life in sketches. May I remind you, I love you ? How long its been since I last told you that? Ah yes, last night.. before you finished. And you? Ah, yes, last night.. after you finished.
And as I look at you sleeping, I cant help wondering.. what the fuck are you doing in my bed in middle-night ? [Ah, this wicked love game. ]
Im drawing a sketch of you and me.. when we were kids
We used to hide and kiss and pretend that it all fits
You used to tell me you loved me and then blush
But then pretend its just a crush.
It made me mad.. do you remember?
But it would go away, cause your kisses were so sweet and tender.
You bitter-sweet joy.. meu dios, estou apaixonada por um pecador.. How can I ever let you leave my bed when you've always been here? You perfect sin, this wicked game.. you make me see my life in sketches. Keep the fantasy within you and relive our madness. Our love can never be this sweet, and we can never be so real.
sâmbătă, 16 august 2008
Thank you
[Rushing through life like nothing here truly satisfies me.]
It maybe be over but it wont stop there. My life continues without the constant pain, but still keeping that sense of fear. The fear that someday, I'll go through it again. *smiles* Huh. Life is but a circle. I WILL go through it again, but this time, I wont suffer.
I hate how my life revolves around people. Random people. I hate how they are exactly the ones who teach me the most important lessons.
Like how not to trust the human spirit. Like how happiness does not consist in the material satisfaction, but in the amount of moments that made you love to be alive: like true love, like a true friend, like a good parent, like a good confident.
Thank you. For each of those things. At one point, you made me feel them all at the same time. You --- the most simple of the human beings. Nothing in you was special, nothing made you shine in any way, you had no great qualities. Nothing in/about you ever prefigured what you'll be able to make me feel.
That simple way of being. The simple words you used. The simple, unsophisticated methods of expressing yourself. The way you pronounced those simple words : I Love You. Everything was so simple. Yet, at an emotional level, it was all so majestic.
The beauty of life consists in its simplicity. Because the fragility and unpredictability of life do not allow you to wish for perfection. It's a suicide to even try. Thank you for teaching me that.
Maybe this is your purpose in this world. To teach me. To teach me how beautiful love is. It was wrong to expect anything greater than what we had, because there simply isn't anything deeper or more intense.
Perhaps I never told you--- how I loved your smile; how I loved it when you were looking deep into my eyes while reaching to hold my hand; how I loved looking at you while you sleep. You always slept so peacefully... like time stopped and it was just you and me.
Im sorry I let you go. My lover. My best friend. Truth is, I miss those great moments we shared. Those were the best 19 months of my life.
The separation was hell. Hell on earth. There's nothing quite like walking away although you two still madly love each other. The time away was hell. Simply because I never met another person as simple and beautiful as you.
If there's anything left to say, its thank you. Thank you for teaching me the most precious lesson. Next time, I'll do it right.
It maybe be over but it wont stop there. My life continues without the constant pain, but still keeping that sense of fear. The fear that someday, I'll go through it again. *smiles* Huh. Life is but a circle. I WILL go through it again, but this time, I wont suffer.
I hate how my life revolves around people. Random people. I hate how they are exactly the ones who teach me the most important lessons.
Like how not to trust the human spirit. Like how happiness does not consist in the material satisfaction, but in the amount of moments that made you love to be alive: like true love, like a true friend, like a good parent, like a good confident.
Thank you. For each of those things. At one point, you made me feel them all at the same time. You --- the most simple of the human beings. Nothing in you was special, nothing made you shine in any way, you had no great qualities. Nothing in/about you ever prefigured what you'll be able to make me feel.
That simple way of being. The simple words you used. The simple, unsophisticated methods of expressing yourself. The way you pronounced those simple words : I Love You. Everything was so simple. Yet, at an emotional level, it was all so majestic.
The beauty of life consists in its simplicity. Because the fragility and unpredictability of life do not allow you to wish for perfection. It's a suicide to even try. Thank you for teaching me that.
Maybe this is your purpose in this world. To teach me. To teach me how beautiful love is. It was wrong to expect anything greater than what we had, because there simply isn't anything deeper or more intense.
Perhaps I never told you--- how I loved your smile; how I loved it when you were looking deep into my eyes while reaching to hold my hand; how I loved looking at you while you sleep. You always slept so peacefully... like time stopped and it was just you and me.
Im sorry I let you go. My lover. My best friend. Truth is, I miss those great moments we shared. Those were the best 19 months of my life.
The separation was hell. Hell on earth. There's nothing quite like walking away although you two still madly love each other. The time away was hell. Simply because I never met another person as simple and beautiful as you.
If there's anything left to say, its thank you. Thank you for teaching me the most precious lesson. Next time, I'll do it right.
vineri, 8 august 2008
And deep down inside...
Motto:
Let me remind you esto no es un escrito de odio. No lo es. Solo me quero recordar del pasado incerto que hemos compartido. Ame esse niño perdido. Lo juro, lo ame. Pero no lo voy amar nunca mas.
It is sufficiently clear that all things are changed, and nothing really perishes, and that the sum of matter remains absolutely the same. Yet, the instability of the teenage mind begs to differ.
I have reached the most hidden thoughts, I have reaches dreams that rip your soul into tiny, tiny pieces. To be able to lift yourself up when others throw you to the ground, to be able to believe when others lie to you, to be able to keep what others would throw away, to still be warm even though "outside" is raining, to still know how to smile even though you're heart's crying, this is what keeps you alive.
The right word was spelt accidentally, but it made me realize what this is all about and why am I running away. The word was "limitation". I see my life in stages each dominated by aberrant soundtracks which keep unwinding in my emotionally-unstable and easily-manipulated mind.
I hate him. I hate him till the point of crying. I hate him because I feel I have given up happiness when I gave up him. He has taken away with him every twinge of my bleeding heart. Maybe that's why I feel so empty.
Except the fact that my heart is dying with each breath I take, there's nothing left to say. And that's probably because im not in love with you anymore. My God.. it really happened... I really broke that thin line that still held us together.
You are a monster. A monster, I say. And please remember esso no es un escrito de odio. No, i pronouce these words with fear and not anger.
You scare me... I honestly hate you, and yet, I can still slide away deep into my dreams. And nothing can shake the peace that surrounds the small oasis hidden inside the depth of my soul. Not even your harshest words. Not even your most beastly behaviour. Nothing you do can ever hurt me.
You have lost your best friend and the only person who truly loved you. I haven't lost anything.
Let me remind you esto no es un escrito de odio. No lo es. Solo me quero recordar del pasado incerto que hemos compartido. Ame esse niño perdido. Lo juro, lo ame. Pero no lo voy amar nunca mas.
It is sufficiently clear that all things are changed, and nothing really perishes, and that the sum of matter remains absolutely the same. Yet, the instability of the teenage mind begs to differ.
I have reached the most hidden thoughts, I have reaches dreams that rip your soul into tiny, tiny pieces. To be able to lift yourself up when others throw you to the ground, to be able to believe when others lie to you, to be able to keep what others would throw away, to still be warm even though "outside" is raining, to still know how to smile even though you're heart's crying, this is what keeps you alive.
The right word was spelt accidentally, but it made me realize what this is all about and why am I running away. The word was "limitation". I see my life in stages each dominated by aberrant soundtracks which keep unwinding in my emotionally-unstable and easily-manipulated mind.
I hate him. I hate him till the point of crying. I hate him because I feel I have given up happiness when I gave up him. He has taken away with him every twinge of my bleeding heart. Maybe that's why I feel so empty.
Except the fact that my heart is dying with each breath I take, there's nothing left to say. And that's probably because im not in love with you anymore. My God.. it really happened... I really broke that thin line that still held us together.
You are a monster. A monster, I say. And please remember esso no es un escrito de odio. No, i pronouce these words with fear and not anger.
You scare me... I honestly hate you, and yet, I can still slide away deep into my dreams. And nothing can shake the peace that surrounds the small oasis hidden inside the depth of my soul. Not even your harshest words. Not even your most beastly behaviour. Nothing you do can ever hurt me.
You have lost your best friend and the only person who truly loved you. I haven't lost anything.
joi, 24 iulie 2008
While listening to Wonderwall
Motto:
I see you remiscin and I hope you listenin
In the position to pressure and offer competition
Me and you -- was meant to be my destiny, no longer lonely
Cause now it's on for you and me, all I can see
A happy home, that's my fantasy
But my reality is problems with your man and me
What can I do? Don't wanna lose you to the sucker
Cause if he touch ya, I got some drama for that busta
Don't wanna rush ya -- but make your mind up fast
Nobody knows -- on who controls will it last, before I ask
I hope you see that I'm sincere, and even if you
stay with him today I'm still here
I refuse to give up -- cause I believe in what we share
Cause everything I feel for you I wanna let you know
Passion it be yours and I'll never let you go
Tell me can you get away?
This wicked love game.. this fire burning inside consuming every fiber of my body... enlightening every aspect of my sensorial perception.
Hold my hand like you used to when we were kids. I'd love feeling your heartbeats whilst almost conjoined in an embrace that will withstand until our souls vanish into infinity.
I love looking at you; looking at you as you nervously try to hide the fact that your heart beats faster when you're with me. I'd love to play with those chubby fingers. I'd love to spend a whole night just looking at you while holding your hand. I bleed for the chance to do that. You have no idea how much I'd love it.
You'll never understand... because you never had the chance to see me the way I am. You cant comprehend what I stand for because the only way you can discover me is through vibrations; our soul's vibrations, ‘cause we've always been one.
You'll understand only when our eyes will meet for the very first time and you'll see in them everything my words cant tell.
You'll understand only when you'll feel the rage of warm blood rushing through my lips as I give you our first real kiss. It's going to give you a burning sensation .. and you'll love every second of it.
I bleed for the chance to do that.
[I am still madly in love with you, Rodrigo.]
The reason I asked you about "You Never Know" is because Im at a point where my life is about to chance 100%: marriage. To be honest ( only now and only here), I feel like I have to choose between a great life, away from any worries or torments.. and you, my eternal love.
You haven't answered my question, you know.
--- although its been almost a year, it hurts to know you're moving on ----
I see you remiscin and I hope you listenin
In the position to pressure and offer competition
Me and you -- was meant to be my destiny, no longer lonely
Cause now it's on for you and me, all I can see
A happy home, that's my fantasy
But my reality is problems with your man and me
What can I do? Don't wanna lose you to the sucker
Cause if he touch ya, I got some drama for that busta
Don't wanna rush ya -- but make your mind up fast
Nobody knows -- on who controls will it last, before I ask
I hope you see that I'm sincere, and even if you
stay with him today I'm still here
I refuse to give up -- cause I believe in what we share
Cause everything I feel for you I wanna let you know
Passion it be yours and I'll never let you go
Tell me can you get away?
This wicked love game.. this fire burning inside consuming every fiber of my body... enlightening every aspect of my sensorial perception.
Hold my hand like you used to when we were kids. I'd love feeling your heartbeats whilst almost conjoined in an embrace that will withstand until our souls vanish into infinity.
I love looking at you; looking at you as you nervously try to hide the fact that your heart beats faster when you're with me. I'd love to play with those chubby fingers. I'd love to spend a whole night just looking at you while holding your hand. I bleed for the chance to do that. You have no idea how much I'd love it.
You'll never understand... because you never had the chance to see me the way I am. You cant comprehend what I stand for because the only way you can discover me is through vibrations; our soul's vibrations, ‘cause we've always been one.
You'll understand only when our eyes will meet for the very first time and you'll see in them everything my words cant tell.
You'll understand only when you'll feel the rage of warm blood rushing through my lips as I give you our first real kiss. It's going to give you a burning sensation .. and you'll love every second of it.
I bleed for the chance to do that.
[I am still madly in love with you, Rodrigo.]
The reason I asked you about "You Never Know" is because Im at a point where my life is about to chance 100%: marriage. To be honest ( only now and only here), I feel like I have to choose between a great life, away from any worries or torments.. and you, my eternal love.
You haven't answered my question, you know.
--- although its been almost a year, it hurts to know you're moving on ----
vineri, 27 iunie 2008
"No es tu, tu solo las inspiras"
Tu no sabes amar, amor, lo no sabes. Tu solo sabes usar palabras. Tu vives en tu universo limitado, donde el amor nunca llega. Tu visualizes el amor en formas, yo en vibraciones. Tu amas una imagen dentro de una tumultousa mente; quen es Annah, pobre criatura? Tu es sólo el resultado de una idea rechazada.
Lo dije antes, y lo diré de nuevo. Ame el creador del "crazy kitten smile". Lo ame.
Pero fatal error que tu ha hecho, señor. Puede jugar con la mente de otras personas, pero asegúrate de que tu propia mente no está jugando con ti.
Dígame, qué sientes? Tu estás tratando de ocultar, pretendiendo ser mi amigo. Un amigo nunca te va exponer, la forma en que tu as hizo conmigo.Y adivinen qué? Esto no es tu, sólo me inspiras. [Recordas? ]
Patético. Es patético que e llegado a este punto. La locura que nos sentíamos entonces. Te acuerdas?
Felicidad. Risas ... aún, so green and lonely.
Momentos tan tiernos. Un amor que he esperado toda mi vida. Todas las noches que pasamos solo hablando ... ame esse niño perdido. Lo juro, lo ame. Pero no lo voy amar nunca mas.
Lo dije antes, y lo diré de nuevo. Ame el creador del "crazy kitten smile". Lo ame.
Pero fatal error que tu ha hecho, señor. Puede jugar con la mente de otras personas, pero asegúrate de que tu propia mente no está jugando con ti.
Dígame, qué sientes? Tu estás tratando de ocultar, pretendiendo ser mi amigo. Un amigo nunca te va exponer, la forma en que tu as hizo conmigo.Y adivinen qué? Esto no es tu, sólo me inspiras. [Recordas? ]
Patético. Es patético que e llegado a este punto. La locura que nos sentíamos entonces. Te acuerdas?
Felicidad. Risas ... aún, so green and lonely.
Momentos tan tiernos. Un amor que he esperado toda mi vida. Todas las noches que pasamos solo hablando ... ame esse niño perdido. Lo juro, lo ame. Pero no lo voy amar nunca mas.
joi, 26 iunie 2008
POR TI
Dava tudo o que algum dia tive, por ti. Dava o sorriso que hei-de reconqistar. Dava a felicidade que acredito que um dia terei. Dava todos os bons momentos de um futuro completamente incerto. Dava-o por ti. Dava-o para que fosses tao feliz como queres ser. Nao ha ninguem qe te ame mais que eu! Nao ha ninguem que será capaz de te amar mais que eu! Nao ha ninguem que te qeira dar tanto como eu!
Gostava de passar o resto da minha vida contigo. Gostava de partirlhar contigo tudo o que me resta. Para Sempre.. mas nem mesmo eu acredito nisso, entao nao o vou dizer. Gostava de te puder oferecer algo infinito, seguro, algo precioso que nunca ninguem te vai conseguir dar. Gostava de puder oferecer-te algo que ninguem vê, ninguem percebe, apenas tu sabes. gostava de inventar e criar algo perfeito para ti. Mas é impossivel. Gostava de puder mostrar-te a imensidao q gosto de ti. Nao qero dizer-to, porqe é inutil.
Nenhuma palavra se compara aquilo que acumulas-te em mim. Ninguem nunca vai ser superior a ti. Sim.. nunca, outra das tais palavras definitivas que eu nao gosto de usar, mas nao arranjo mais nenhuma..
Sei que nunca ninguem vai ser aqilo qe tu és. Sei qe es o melhor qe eu puderia ter. Sei que vou comparar todos a ti, e nenhum deles chegará aos teus pés. .
Queria puder agradecer-te por todas as vezes qe me ofereces-te um sorriso. Todas as vezes em que me facilitas-te a vida. Todas as vezes que me salvaste. Mas é impossivel. Foram tantas vezes.. acho q nao tens ideia.. acho q nao tens ideia daqilo que es capaz de fazer.
Nao sei se consegues mudar a vida de toda a gente em instantes.. mas a minha consegues! Tens um poder enorme sobre mim.. e sempre o usas-te da melhor forma. Sempre permaneces-te comigo.
Nao posso fazer melhor do que tu fazes, mas posso tentar igualar-te.. de qualquer forma serás sempre superior. Para mim, serás sempre inacansável. Serás sempre a pessoa que é capaz de me lançar de um precipicio e prefere aconchegar-me e guardar-me.. Prefere tomar conta de mim e fazer-me viver. Alguem que com um simples gesto me faz sorrir. Alguem que sempre me protegeu.
Nao me esqeço de nada q fazes. Podia escrever a noite inteira.. até porqe nao sei como acabar isto.. por isso vou-te resumir tudo numa palavra que é usada vezes demais, eu sei q contribuo para isso, mas neste caso, é usada no verdadeiro sentido da palavra.. AMO-TE!
Gostava de passar o resto da minha vida contigo. Gostava de partirlhar contigo tudo o que me resta. Para Sempre.. mas nem mesmo eu acredito nisso, entao nao o vou dizer. Gostava de te puder oferecer algo infinito, seguro, algo precioso que nunca ninguem te vai conseguir dar. Gostava de puder oferecer-te algo que ninguem vê, ninguem percebe, apenas tu sabes. gostava de inventar e criar algo perfeito para ti. Mas é impossivel. Gostava de puder mostrar-te a imensidao q gosto de ti. Nao qero dizer-to, porqe é inutil.
Nenhuma palavra se compara aquilo que acumulas-te em mim. Ninguem nunca vai ser superior a ti. Sim.. nunca, outra das tais palavras definitivas que eu nao gosto de usar, mas nao arranjo mais nenhuma..
Sei que nunca ninguem vai ser aqilo qe tu és. Sei qe es o melhor qe eu puderia ter. Sei que vou comparar todos a ti, e nenhum deles chegará aos teus pés. .
Queria puder agradecer-te por todas as vezes qe me ofereces-te um sorriso. Todas as vezes em que me facilitas-te a vida. Todas as vezes que me salvaste. Mas é impossivel. Foram tantas vezes.. acho q nao tens ideia.. acho q nao tens ideia daqilo que es capaz de fazer.
Nao sei se consegues mudar a vida de toda a gente em instantes.. mas a minha consegues! Tens um poder enorme sobre mim.. e sempre o usas-te da melhor forma. Sempre permaneces-te comigo.
Nao posso fazer melhor do que tu fazes, mas posso tentar igualar-te.. de qualquer forma serás sempre superior. Para mim, serás sempre inacansável. Serás sempre a pessoa que é capaz de me lançar de um precipicio e prefere aconchegar-me e guardar-me.. Prefere tomar conta de mim e fazer-me viver. Alguem que com um simples gesto me faz sorrir. Alguem que sempre me protegeu.
Nao me esqeço de nada q fazes. Podia escrever a noite inteira.. até porqe nao sei como acabar isto.. por isso vou-te resumir tudo numa palavra que é usada vezes demais, eu sei q contribuo para isso, mas neste caso, é usada no verdadeiro sentido da palavra.. AMO-TE!
Hai pe la mine /:)
[ 6/27/2008. Lavinia and Spit. Translation]
dtnplm (6/27/2008 7:38:58 PM): man that blog is really cool
dtnplm (6/27/2008 7:39:10 PM): I mean whats written in it
Lavi ^^ (6/27/2008 7:41:32 PM): oh my fuckin godness u read my blog =)) =))
dtnplm (6/27/2008 7:41:41 PM): mhm
dtnplm (6/27/2008 7:41:44 PM): GAAAY
dtnplm (6/27/2008 7:41:47 PM): but its cool
dtnplm (6/27/2008 7:41:52 PM): did you write that?
dtnplm (6/27/2008 7:42:03 PM): it didnt seem your style
Lavi ^^ (6/27/2008 7:42:17 PM): i have many faces
Lavi ^^ (6/27/2008 7:45:07 PM): im inspired.. whatever, not everything I wrote there is true..
dtnplm (6/27/2008 7:46:33 PM): its not true in the way that there are paragraphs inspired from somewhere else or its not inspired from real life?
Lavi ^^ (6/27/2008 7:46:54 PM): its not totally inspired by "real feelings"
dtnplm (6/27/2008 7:47:02 PM): aha aha
dtnplm (6/27/2008 7:47:08 PM): well actually
dtnplm (6/27/2008 7:47:15 PM): maybe its inspired by real feelings...
dtnplm (6/27/2008 7:47:28 PM): but not directed towards a real person..
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
maybe. Cause you see.. I hope you wont get to read this.
shhht. Lemme tell you something.
You're one of those guys.. who makes me feel like shit for not being the way you want me to. And I struggle so hard to satisfy you; to make you think im worth it. But you're not one of those guys I can put on my shinning mask and make them fall for it.
There's gotta be more to life than chasing down every temporary high to satisfy me. Deceptions after deceptions. But still I rise.
But you tell me. Tell me, what is happiness? That walk in the park throwing pop-corn at each other that I promised for my birthday .. sau " hai pe la mine /:)" from yesterday? I think about it sometimes. I think about you. I wonder.. are you the way I want you to be? Or are you just a " platonic friend"?
So after all, whats happiness?
dtnplm (6/27/2008 7:38:58 PM): man that blog is really cool
dtnplm (6/27/2008 7:39:10 PM): I mean whats written in it
Lavi ^^ (6/27/2008 7:41:32 PM): oh my fuckin godness u read my blog =)) =))
dtnplm (6/27/2008 7:41:41 PM): mhm
dtnplm (6/27/2008 7:41:44 PM): GAAAY
dtnplm (6/27/2008 7:41:47 PM): but its cool
dtnplm (6/27/2008 7:41:52 PM): did you write that?
dtnplm (6/27/2008 7:42:03 PM): it didnt seem your style
Lavi ^^ (6/27/2008 7:42:17 PM): i have many faces
Lavi ^^ (6/27/2008 7:45:07 PM): im inspired.. whatever, not everything I wrote there is true..
dtnplm (6/27/2008 7:46:33 PM): its not true in the way that there are paragraphs inspired from somewhere else or its not inspired from real life?
Lavi ^^ (6/27/2008 7:46:54 PM): its not totally inspired by "real feelings"
dtnplm (6/27/2008 7:47:02 PM): aha aha
dtnplm (6/27/2008 7:47:08 PM): well actually
dtnplm (6/27/2008 7:47:15 PM): maybe its inspired by real feelings...
dtnplm (6/27/2008 7:47:28 PM): but not directed towards a real person..
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
maybe. Cause you see.. I hope you wont get to read this.
shhht. Lemme tell you something.
You're one of those guys.. who makes me feel like shit for not being the way you want me to. And I struggle so hard to satisfy you; to make you think im worth it. But you're not one of those guys I can put on my shinning mask and make them fall for it.
There's gotta be more to life than chasing down every temporary high to satisfy me. Deceptions after deceptions. But still I rise.
But you tell me. Tell me, what is happiness? That walk in the park throwing pop-corn at each other that I promised for my birthday .. sau " hai pe la mine /:)" from yesterday? I think about it sometimes. I think about you. I wonder.. are you the way I want you to be? Or are you just a " platonic friend"?
So after all, whats happiness?
miercuri, 25 iunie 2008
Amor Transiente... [ Virtual Reality]
Vieram e ficaram sensações de bem-querer. Um desejar e ter, é não pedir e acontecer, é espontaneidade de desejos. Sopra ao coração, e vicia-o de maneira incondicional. Tudo responde ao apelo, e mesmo quando este não se expande tudo funciona de acordo com as necessidades, como uma enorme fábrica, uma espécie de Fábrica da Felicidade.
Eu sei, contigo não há tristezas. Sim elas surgem, mas quando surgem ganham bilhete de ida. Não conheço o mundo e nem preciso para o afirmar, o coração dá me todas as certezas de que preciso, e não duvido, TU ÉS O HOMEM DA MINHA VIDA! Sem medo de o declarar!
Eu sinto-o, bem sei que o que carregas no peito vive só por mim, só para mim, eu sei que não haverá nada igual, nem semelhante, que a ele se compare, nem passado, nem futuro. Amor tão meu, lugar que a mim pertence. Onde sempre existirá um tanto de mim. Daí eu sei, contigo estarei hoje e sempre até ao último segundo, até ao último suspiro.
Trepa-me o corpo, acaricia-me o rosto, sopra-me palavras do coração ao ouvido, toca-me a alma, embala-me na tua canção, como sempre fazes, fá-lo uma vez mais, fá-lo para sempre!
"(...)Lábios descobertos os teus nos meus, rasgos de vento, brisas suaves que tocam o peito, arrasta as pernas, e mais um passo a par dos teus. (...)"
SENTE
Já havia algum tempo em que não sentia o calor deste amor. Que viagem longa... Afinal quanto tempo passou ao certo? Julgo que terá sido uma eternidade, e que mordaz e dolorosa eternidade. Levou um tanto de mim, substância temporal que passa e nada do muito deixa. Apenas esse amor e a saudade, a saudade de sempre, que não mata, mas demole. Mas hoje o que mais dói são os dias que perdi e não vivi contigo. (...)
Promessas que silenciosamente revivem, fazem retrospectiva das mudanças que se estendem sobre a realidade de hoje. Resplandece um novo dia em nós, e ages agora criando uma nova espécie de maneiras, jeitos, formas de estar, ser pensar. Acredito que está no crer, o real jeito de regressar aos perfeitos tempos que não são meras memórias vivas em nós, mas fortes esperanças desses dias de novo reinarem aqui, neste mesmo lugar, nunca abandonado, e sob este mesmo luar de sempre. Tudo permanece tão igual aqui, agora que estás presente eu sinto-o.
No momento exacto, chamei por ti... Por entre as frias paredes desta nossa casa vazia, senti o eco da minha voz. Gritei, supliquei, chorei, implorei,.. Do nada surge a tua voz, escutei, segui, avistei-te finalmente e abracei-te ... com força... uma força capaz de mover o mundo!
Lábios descobertos os teus nos meus, rasgos de vento, brisas suaves que tocam o peito, arrasta as pernas, e mais um passo a par dos teus. Corre o tempo veloz, que contigo se aparenta suspenso, fica todo o sentimento em nós, cria-se a ambiência de dias já vividos, revividos, sentidos, sentimentos à flor da pele, delírio, alucinação, talvez mera paixão, ou o desejo imenso dos corpos amarem, sentirem, se unirem.
O meu olhar segue -te, seguir-te-à sempre, em qualquer lugar [s.america] . Admira-te. Contempla-te.
TU... Fazendo-me questionar a toda a hora sobre a possibilidade de todo o imenso perfeccionismo que se estende meramente a um corpo, uma pessoa, um ser, poder ser realmente e completamente verídico.
Apaixonada um tanto mais, ainda me apaixono todos os dias, por todo e cada suspiro, olhar, palavra, forma, toque, imagem, riso, grito, gemer, ...
My love... és real? Ou fantasia minha?
De novo a tua voz me consome e me envolve na melodia de uma alma destapada pela substancia temporal, que busca o infinito de dois corpos destinados. Porque, sim, acredito que o destino traçou a junção destas duas almas, destes dois corpos, e embora isso, e de qualquer maneira, e mesmo que o destino assim tenha traçado este caminho, cabe a nós escolher vive-lo. Ficarei em ti, completar-te-ei. Tenho uma vida por inteiro para te entregar. Um amor, uma vida!
No teu suspiro eu voo, crio asas no teu corpo, de mão dada com a tua alma desperto estrelas, alcanço o infinito mais longínquo, real e simultaneamente utópico.
E nesses abraços do tempo suspenso que me embala, e me faz viver, sinto as memórias abandonarem a gaveta do passado, e adquirindo forma na realidade presente. E quebra-se o tempo, e vive-se de novo meu amor.
[um ano] why, my love?
Eu sei, contigo não há tristezas. Sim elas surgem, mas quando surgem ganham bilhete de ida. Não conheço o mundo e nem preciso para o afirmar, o coração dá me todas as certezas de que preciso, e não duvido, TU ÉS O HOMEM DA MINHA VIDA! Sem medo de o declarar!
Eu sinto-o, bem sei que o que carregas no peito vive só por mim, só para mim, eu sei que não haverá nada igual, nem semelhante, que a ele se compare, nem passado, nem futuro. Amor tão meu, lugar que a mim pertence. Onde sempre existirá um tanto de mim. Daí eu sei, contigo estarei hoje e sempre até ao último segundo, até ao último suspiro.
Trepa-me o corpo, acaricia-me o rosto, sopra-me palavras do coração ao ouvido, toca-me a alma, embala-me na tua canção, como sempre fazes, fá-lo uma vez mais, fá-lo para sempre!
"(...)Lábios descobertos os teus nos meus, rasgos de vento, brisas suaves que tocam o peito, arrasta as pernas, e mais um passo a par dos teus. (...)"
SENTE
Já havia algum tempo em que não sentia o calor deste amor. Que viagem longa... Afinal quanto tempo passou ao certo? Julgo que terá sido uma eternidade, e que mordaz e dolorosa eternidade. Levou um tanto de mim, substância temporal que passa e nada do muito deixa. Apenas esse amor e a saudade, a saudade de sempre, que não mata, mas demole. Mas hoje o que mais dói são os dias que perdi e não vivi contigo. (...)
Promessas que silenciosamente revivem, fazem retrospectiva das mudanças que se estendem sobre a realidade de hoje. Resplandece um novo dia em nós, e ages agora criando uma nova espécie de maneiras, jeitos, formas de estar, ser pensar. Acredito que está no crer, o real jeito de regressar aos perfeitos tempos que não são meras memórias vivas em nós, mas fortes esperanças desses dias de novo reinarem aqui, neste mesmo lugar, nunca abandonado, e sob este mesmo luar de sempre. Tudo permanece tão igual aqui, agora que estás presente eu sinto-o.
No momento exacto, chamei por ti... Por entre as frias paredes desta nossa casa vazia, senti o eco da minha voz. Gritei, supliquei, chorei, implorei,.. Do nada surge a tua voz, escutei, segui, avistei-te finalmente e abracei-te ... com força... uma força capaz de mover o mundo!
Lábios descobertos os teus nos meus, rasgos de vento, brisas suaves que tocam o peito, arrasta as pernas, e mais um passo a par dos teus. Corre o tempo veloz, que contigo se aparenta suspenso, fica todo o sentimento em nós, cria-se a ambiência de dias já vividos, revividos, sentidos, sentimentos à flor da pele, delírio, alucinação, talvez mera paixão, ou o desejo imenso dos corpos amarem, sentirem, se unirem.
O meu olhar segue -te, seguir-te-à sempre, em qualquer lugar [s.america] . Admira-te. Contempla-te.
TU... Fazendo-me questionar a toda a hora sobre a possibilidade de todo o imenso perfeccionismo que se estende meramente a um corpo, uma pessoa, um ser, poder ser realmente e completamente verídico.
Apaixonada um tanto mais, ainda me apaixono todos os dias, por todo e cada suspiro, olhar, palavra, forma, toque, imagem, riso, grito, gemer, ...
My love... és real? Ou fantasia minha?
De novo a tua voz me consome e me envolve na melodia de uma alma destapada pela substancia temporal, que busca o infinito de dois corpos destinados. Porque, sim, acredito que o destino traçou a junção destas duas almas, destes dois corpos, e embora isso, e de qualquer maneira, e mesmo que o destino assim tenha traçado este caminho, cabe a nós escolher vive-lo. Ficarei em ti, completar-te-ei. Tenho uma vida por inteiro para te entregar. Um amor, uma vida!
No teu suspiro eu voo, crio asas no teu corpo, de mão dada com a tua alma desperto estrelas, alcanço o infinito mais longínquo, real e simultaneamente utópico.
E nesses abraços do tempo suspenso que me embala, e me faz viver, sinto as memórias abandonarem a gaveta do passado, e adquirindo forma na realidade presente. E quebra-se o tempo, e vive-se de novo meu amor.
[um ano] why, my love?
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