Another year has passed.. Im still here

I miss you. I miss our mad moments of complete silence. Of peace.

Birthdays are just not the same without you.

The Truth

I've constantly been asked. Why do I change my facebook profile picture all the time? Why do I change my MSN display picture all the time? Why do I change my boyfriends all the time? Why do I change my email address all the time? Why do I change my mood all the time? Why do I change my clothes 5 times a day? Why do I change my make-up 5 times a day? Why do I change my blog's layout 5 times a day?
Why do I feel the  need to change my life every second of my life?

        Answer : because I'm bipolar. Stick that in your little heads.  I'm addicted to change. to diversity. I get uninterested if there isnt something constantly challenging me. Or maybe I'm just afraid people would get uninterested if I'm always the same. The same picture. The same face. The same clothes. The same typical personality. 

        I'm sorry some of you don't understand. that i dont want to be cured. that im happy being unpredictable. And I'm sorry my ex is suffering, thinking I discarded him. Thing is, if you're not capable of constantly renewing yourself, dont even bother, I'll lose interest in you. You should have known. [...] You were fine. .. You were a great boyfriend. But at some point you stopped. being a great. boyfriend. And I couldnt keep you around anymore.
It's fine. you can hate me. But just remember. i still care very much about you. and I'll always be waiting for you to accept me as your friend.

        And for those who are shocked by what they're reading here. knowing the real me,   behind these words. knowing the real me, who plays with people's minds, who manipulates and uses, who seems to have a perfect life and never goes through any drama. for those who know the real me and cant believe the words written here belong to me. understand this is my playground. here i say things that I'll never say in real life. here i cry about the things I'll never cry in real life. here i show a part of me that I'll never show in real life. this is my own world, where only I exist. where my violent nature in real life becomes sorrow, depression and tears in this parrallel universe.

 don't ask me  about this tomorrow. I'll pretend it never existed.

It's been a while since I last wrote you. Not because I forgot, but because you've been so present in my life these past few months that I didn't get miss your warmth.
I won't write painfully long sentences to tell one simple thing : I Love You. For who you are and for what you do. You give me strenght and challenge me to be a better person. You bring the

best of me.You understand and forgive. You have marked my existance and you will forever be part of me.
You are the love of my life. Thank you for everything you've shared with me, and for the wonderful years to come.

I love you, Stef. ..  I'll be right back.